To Know You Is To Love You
First, to the extent that compassionate love promotes behavior that benefits another person, compassionate love should be an important, even crucial, element of a successful marriage.
Peter & Gordon were a British Invasion-era performing duo, formed by Peter Asher and Gordon Waller, that rocketed to fame in 1964 with "A World Without Love".
One possible reason for this apparent gender difference may be that husbands’ understanding of their wives’ qualities has different effects on the relationship.
In other words, it was only when wives understood their partner’s traits, not necessarily when they viewed those traits positively, that the marriage fared better over time. Compassionate love is personally fulfilling, in that spouses can reap the rewards of their love, but it is also selfless, in that spouses accept their partners for who they are, the good and the bad. We had couples engage in a series of tasks in which each spouse was asked to choose a personal problem or difficulty they were facing and discuss that problem with their partner.
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As researchers who have devoted our careers to studying the first few years of marriage, we have focused on the phenomenon of compassionate love between spouses. However, husbands’ understanding was not associated with their support abilities or with couples’ likelihood of divorce. Third, newlyweds are an appropriate place to distinguish between compassionate love and other kinds of love. " To Know You (Is to Love You) " is a popular song.
These spouses should not be surprised by their partners’ negative qualities and thus should be less likely to react poorly when their partners’ weaknesses surface over the course of the relationship.
What makes this love compassionate? 5 Help us continue to bring “the science of a meaningful life” to you and to millions around the globe.The Greater Good Science Center studies the psychology, sociology, and neuroscience of well-being, and teaches skills that foster a thriving, resilient, and compassionate society. The song was published in 1952.
How can we inspire people to act in each other’s best interests?
As you might imagine, newlyweds all claim to love one another. A second glance at definitions of compassionate love reveals a paradox, perhaps a contradiction, that brings us uncomfortably back to the behaviorists’ ideas.
Our model rests on the premise that love for a partner originates in a variety of beliefs and judgments, ranging from perceptions of the partner’s specific traits and abilities (e.g., My partner is a great cook) to global evaluations of the partner as a whole (e.g., My partner is the greatest).
To address these issues, we have been following 250 newly-married couples over the first four years of their marriage.
Why did marriages only seem to benefit when wives understood their partners’ specific qualities?
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